2.01.2010

The Results Are In....

Aaaaand....I stayed exactly where I've been in orchestra--no solo (that part's not surprising) and still in 1st violins, 11th chair. At first, discouragement and embarrassment were my main two emotions. Who am I? What made me think I would move up at all? Why did I even bother trying out for solos? I felt like an egotistical and over-eager freak who didn't belong, and thusly had been put in her place.

After much encouragement from my family, and an uplifting violin lesson--though I felt a little better--I was still in a pit. All of my hard work (the hours and hours of practice) were worth nothing. I hadn't even begun to climb the ladder which I'd so carefully built for myself over the last several weeks.

But through this trial, one thing has just been made very apparent to me. I know why I tried out for the solos, and I know why I was disappointed when I didn't move up. The point of intersection between my pain and my gain is found in the fact that I LOVE violin! And I can't help but hope that someday, destiny will bring to the point which I've become so attached to.

More than anything...I love the feeling of accomplishing things in the best way that I can--with Christ at the forefront and humility in my heart. Hard work is the best thing I can do, and I feel very much at peace now, knowing that I did give it my all, and I feel very blessed that I didn't slip down in my chair placement! Praise God! He knew that I would need this experience in order to reach the point where He wants me. And I'm willing to take a trip through the dunes to reach the spring on the other side.

Someday...




Doesn't it just give you perfect goosebumps? Yup...mark my words--someway, somehow...I'm going to play like that.

“Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.”
-Julie Andrews

20 comments. :

Jared Kraft said...

You know what? You're awesome. Simple as that. I know how disappointing life can be sometimes (especially when it involves something you worked so hard for...) However, there is always that "something" coming afterwards. I'm glad God's helped you find a place of piece.

You're a great violinist, a great sister and a great friend. I'm looking forward to working with you on huge and mind blowing movie scores in the future! ha ha. : )... but that's a completely different battle isn't it?

Love ya,
Jared

Jared Kraft said...

FTR... I mean "place of PEACE, not PIECE." :P lol

Jenna said...

Abigail,
You are very inspiring!! You will keep getting better and better with God's help.

Good for you to try out and keep up the great work:)

Sydney Rae said...

Hey Abigail!

I am so sorry you didn't get your solo. I know how you feel. I tried out for the GA all-state orchestra, made it past the first auditions, but not the finals. It is funny that you put Fiddler on the Roof up. My dream is to someday get that part in a play! Haha!

Hannah said...

Abigail,

I agree with Jared. You are awesome. You didn't make the solo but you're still praising Him. You went past your "this was worthless" stage and entered into a place of peace, where you're thanking God. You are truly amazing. :)

LOVE YOU!

Hannah

Marissa said...

Abigail,

You are amazing at the violin. I know this because I've heard you =) I think it's awesome that even if you didn't make the solos you can be a peace with your self and still praise God. Some day I'm sure you will have a solo. No doubt in my mind. And I, like Hannah agree with Jared as well. =D
Here is a little quote i have on my wall.
"Failure is a reason to grow stronger not a reason to give up."
So take heart you just made your self stronger. =)

And that fiddler on the roof solo is something I've wanted to play ever since I saw the movie! It's sooooo awesome!

LOVE YA BUNCHES!!!!! You rock at the violin. K?
--Marissa

Kristin said...

I am so proud of you Abigail! In life, you will have so many opportunities come your way, and you can chose to be safe and too scared to go for it, or you can put it all on the line, try your best, work your hardest, and see what happens. I don't believe the Lord created us to play it safe. He gave you this passion for violin for a reason and I love your attitude about it!

Alexis said...

I'd rather listen to you than pompous olf whoever it was that got the solo, anyway. :)

Seriously, though, I'm so sorry to hear that, Abigail. I know you've put so much work and hope into this, and I've been praying for you. BUT we just have to remember that God has His hands in everything, and even though it's hard to see it, He always works the best for His children. It's so great that you see that.

But, look on the bright side...now you don't have to stress over it and practice twenty-five hours a day (um?), right? At least until next time.

I need to call them, by the way. Somebody there owes me some serious money. ;)

Love ya!

Jessica Faith said...

abigail, i'm sorry you didn't get that part - but everybody who's left a comment is right (sorry guys you took all my ideas for a comment so this isn't too fancy :D). You didn't get it but you're still praising God.
And, I'm sure you do play wonderfully...
Someday I'll see yours and Jared's names on the end credits of a movie at the MetroLux Theatre here in town!! :):)
Have fun and hugs,
Jessica Faith

Kelly said...

You are an amazing girl!! Thanks for sharing this sweet testimony. I was praying for you on saturday and I'm sure you did your best! Keep working hard and you will be able to play like that!

Olivia said...

Oh hon!! You are so special and so very talented and this is just another learning experience! It's your first audition for a solo... and just auditioning is enough to be proud of. As far as chairs go... what's harder is when you start at first, then move back (I switched to viola for a year and a half and during that time a prodigy joined the orchestra... ;))

The hard work will pay off... and there are others that have put in hard work in your orchestra as well. Sometimes it's not about getting better then the others in the orchestra, but growing together towards the goal.

Oh, and are you guys doing Fiddler on the Roof music for this concert?! Cus we are too! We did Sunrise Sunset last year, not we are doing the main song this year and next fall we are having a spaghetti feed fundraiser for the orchestra and doing all FOTR music. :)

Anyway... I love you buckets!!

Verna said...

Sorry You did not get the part, but I feel God has awesome things for you in the future.

It may be at a time when you think not. Keep on practicing we serve an awesome God!

Love ya.

Nana said...

Maybe next time, right? And I agree umm... pretty much with everyone. I am sure you play wonderful even if you didn't get the part. Good for you trying out though...

OH, and I love Fiddler on the Roof and that song. So beautiful!

Love,

Nana

Bekah said...

Ab--

*hugs you* I'm really sorry about that--but I KNOW that someday, someway, you WILL be able to play like that. (I would say you already do, but you wouldn't believe me, right?)

All of your work hasn't been for nothing--one day you will get there. Maybe that day is not tomorrow, or next try-outs, but it IS soon, it IS near. And it WILL happen.

LOVE YOU!

Bekah

Diana said...

What?? Oh sweet girl, it wasn't for nothing... you persevered and practiced, and gave it your all... and look at the words you wrote up there:

"...I love the feeling of accomplishing things in the best way that I can--with Christ at the forefront and humility in my heart. Hard work is the best thing I can do, and I feel very much at peace now, knowing that I did give it my all, and I feel very blessed that I didn't slip down in my chair placement! Praise God! He knew that I would need this experience in order to reach the point where He wants me. And I'm willing to take a trip through the dunes to reach the spring on the other side..."

I think that says more about you than anything. God blessed you with so much talent... and eventually He will show you what He wants you to use it for. You have a big future ahead of you... just keep watch for that spring and let God continue to lead. :)

P.S. I have always loved "Fiddler on the Roof"

Linda said...

Abigail you are an amazing girl. I love that you are so passionate about your violin..and life...and your family, and especially the Lord.

I am proud of you for practicing so hard and for giving it your all.
It was so good that you tried out for the solo... and next time I don't think you will be quite as nervous. Once you have done something it gets easier to do it the next time I think.

I think first violin ...11th chair is an honorable position....and I am sure you will continue to give it your all as you perform with the orchestra. And next year you can try again and you will have even more experience under your belt! (so to speak) (:>)

The Lord has a wonderful plan for your life my dear granddaughter.

It is so exciting to see you growing in all areas of your life.

I love you so very much!
Grams

Anne said...

AB!!!!
I'm so sorry that you didn't move up. It's kinda weird because i felt the SAME way last week when my results came in and i found out that I was 11th chair also. I was really frustrated because I felt like I had put all that hard work in for nothing. and after many tears, I realized that I didn't have the right attitude about it. I was not grateful that I had moved up from being last place, all I could focus on was how hard I worked with nothing to show, and how embarrassing it would be to tell people. It hurt my pride, I thought that I had somehow earned the right to move up. ??? I don't know where that idea came from. :P But it's not the chair that really matters. It's our attitudes about where we sit. We can glorify God no matter where we sit. And really we can show our faith by having a good attitudes about sitting in the back. :P lol and you know what, when we give it everything that is what is glorifying to God.

And someday.... you will play like that!!! :) i love that piece! eventually all of this hard work and hours of practice will pay off. :)
I applaud you for your hard work! Great job! I love you! thank you for being such a great encouragement to me! <3 <3

crystal theresa said...

awww, sorry you didn't get the solo you wanted... yet. it is perfectly normal to be disappointed and upset and hang out in that pit for a while. but it's great to hear that you haven't let it discourage you, but rather have become more sure of your love for the violin. that is a beautiful thing :).

Joni said...

I completely understand the disappointment of not reaching a goal we've made for ourselves. Sometimes I too feel that all the hours I've spent towards this goal were completely wasted... But then I think of how much it's a growing process. The trophy is just the symbol of our accomplishing. It's the applause AFTER the melody or (for me one day) it's the binding of the pages AFTER the writing. Sort of like that saying that "it's the journey, not the destination". In our growing and practicing God is taking us on an awesome adventure. Sometimes I'm impatient for the destination, but I try to remember that the opportunity for the experience- the here and now- is something I need to pay attention to and cherish.
You'll get there one day, Miss Abagail! :) Play on.

Anonymous said...

Well since I am new to your blog, saw from your wonderful moms blog.. you could play a solo on here so at least we could all hear. I think it would be awesome..Your parents really brought up such awesome kids for Christ..

God bless you!
Erika

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